Life is not always easy – in fact, it is not meant to be easy. How else are we supposed to learn and become stronger without adversity? Why do we do, what we do?
We are all survivors. A colleague once told me that every day, we are either coming out of a crisis, in the middle of a crisis, or going into a crisis.
If you stop and reflect, you may realize that our days are full of mini to large crises. Living on this earth, we are burdened with multiple decisions hammering against us. How do you handle all of the battles?
We all have our techniques: taking full on, denial, avoidance, etc.
I have a variety of tools in my arsenal, that has brought me ‘here’ thus far:
– constant deepening relationship with Christ
– solid community of friends and family who I can get advice, support and encouragement from
– my sanity oils towards a healthier body, spirit and soul
– and my daily reminder. My WHY
Several times in my life, after exhausting every solution I could imagine, I have found myself at the end of my rope.
I have survived a few suicide attempts, and have always found a glimmer of ‘something’ that kept me fighting.
Since becoming a mom, my life has not necessarily become easier in ANY WAY shape or form.
But, the ONE SINGLE anchor that has kept the fire stoked – is my WHY.
What is a WHY?
A WHY is the reason you get up in the morning.
Everyone’s WHY is different, because we all have a different purpose in life.
My WHY is my daughter, as I am sure you have guessed by now.
Becoming a mom, was a major turning point in my life. I wanted to be as prepared as I could be!
I devoured all the resources I could find.
I dove into Christianity – to debunk (another religion) so that I could have my
bleep together spiritually.
[10+ years later, I am proud to state that I still constantly question and strengthen my relationship with my ultimate Father]
Having the responsibility that I carry to be Veronica Annabel Girard’s Mom, has not been an easy task!
Our journey has been painfully humbling, humiliating, and yet at the same time: empowering and a badge I wear with pride.
She is a phenomenal person, and I have been honored to partake in helping to protect and guide her through life.
My daughter is the reason WHY:
– I refuse to seek full employment, so that I can drop anything when she seriously needs me
– I will never ‘leave’, even though my Flee Survival Instinct gets triggered
– I am always hyper-vigilant for her safety and growth
– I was willing to jump into homeschooling, to rescue my struggling 2nd grader from falling through any more cracks in the education system
– I strive to be productive and not destructive in my every day life
Ultimately, my daughter is my reason why I get up in the morning and try to take care of myself. I believe, in my core, that I am one of her role models. I have been tasked with that role, and I refuse to let her down.
So, what is your WHY?
What in your life keeps you going? Keeps the fuel burning?
What legacy do you want to leave behind when it is your time to go?
I pray for those of you struggling, and bobbing in life’s bleak ocean.
I hope you can find your WHY, get back your second wind (or third, or fourth) and continue using your gifts for those beyond yourself.
*** I dedicate my post today, to my sister Sheila, who I miss every day and has been fatally haunted and wounded by her demons all her life and has been lost to me for years ***