As a first-time mom, I found myself constantly keeping tabs on my daughter’s developmental progress. I soon became worried about her language, but her doctor and teachers did not share my concern. I was told that I was being hypersensitive. Or that she was too young to test, and would quickly grow.
Here is a video of Veronica at age 6.
Years later, I wish I had more support and knew how to seek better advice during her earlier years. I have grown more passionate about instilling confidence in parental instinct so we can advocate for our kiddos as much as possible. Currently, my 10-year old has finally received the proper diagnosis of CAPD and still receives Speech and Language services.
See my articles about CAPD to understand more about processing issues.
CAPD – What is Central Auditory Processing Disorder?
Individual Educational Checklist – to help determine what help/services you may need
So, how do you know if your preschooler is talking as much as she should be? Many kids who experience delayed speech will catch up with a little encouragement, social interaction, and sometimes speech therapy. Even Albert Einstein didn’t say a word till he was 4 years old!
I am bilingual (English/Japanese), so I wanted my daughter to have exposure as well. There are several theories about teaching babies dual language/cultures (simultaneous vs stacking, etc.), but since I was noticing more of a communication struggle, I lessened the intense exposure and just continued to foster her overall development.
So, what is considered “normal speech” for a 3 to 5-year-old?
Here are some potential red flags to keep in mind when considering taking your concerns to a pediatrician or speech therapist.
Limited Vocabulary
How many words does your preschooler really use? Take the time to count the words your child says on a regular basis. According to a local teacher, kids should have about 500 words in their vocabulary by age 3. This is a ballpark number. If your child is using significantly fewer than 500 words, it’s a good idea to talk to your pediatrician.
Now, keep in mind that “understanding” or “processing” language is different than using it. Kids with speech delays often understand far more words and phrases than they actually say. Communication is not just about words. There are physical and emotional aspects as well.
Try not to stress too much if your child listens more than she talks. Some kids do not speak until the age of three and when they decide to speak, they explode. Sometimes kids are really just born listeners. It doesn’t mean that they can’t – they are just waiting for the right time.
Don’t forget – Until you see them demonstrate knowledge, you will not know if they understand and know their ABCs, 123s, colors, etc.
Inability to Make Certain Sounds
A major part of speech development is learning the actual mouth movements to make each sound. Did you know that speech requires coordination of several mechanisms to produce the right sounds?
As adults, we rarely think about this process because it is so second nature to us. Using the tongue to make sounds such as “L,” “G,” and “Th” is something we all practiced and learned somewhat naturally at an earlier point in our lives.
As a previous English as a Second/Other Language teacher, I often sympathized with students attempting to tackle English consonants that do not exist in their first language.
Lack of Phrases
Is your preschooler stringing three to four words together to make simple sentences and phrases? Some children need extra help and take longer to formulate sentences and to properly use the past, future, and present tenses.
Do you remember taking a foreign language in high school? By the second year, you still had to be aware of your words to form a proper sentence.
It is very easy to fall into a bad habit of speaking for your kiddo. But, allowing them to get older and still rely on grunts and gestures can be detrimental.
Guiding them by modeling full sentences, or having them repeat your words, can be helpful.
Another tip: let them stumble, so they can figure out how to pick themselves up. This is like a verbal, bicycle lesson. You can hold onto the back of their non-training wheeled bike – but eventually, you have to let them wobble and find their own balance.
Our kiddos do learn at their pace. Just. Like. We. Do. In. Life.
Difficult to Understand
Whoever spends the most time with your kiddo will understand her the best. Without realizing it, you two will end up learning each other’s communication.
Sometimes it takes someone outside your household to recognize any language problems. Have you ever spent time with a friend and her young child, and he babbles something completely incoherent to her – and she responds perfectly clearly as if they were having a regular conversation?
There is nothing wrong with you. That Mom has been trained in her kid’s language. She understands the slurs and dropped letters.
One of the assessment questions you will receive for speech therapy focuses on how well the child is understood by outsiders. It is heart-breaking when grandparents or friends keep looking to you, because they cannot understand what your kid is excitedly chattering at them.
I really appreciated seeing how well my daughter was understood. Over the years, she progressed from 10% to 80%. At first, she started becoming self-conscious and uncomfortable when I had to keep ‘translating’ English-to-English for her.
Now, my husband is a born-bred Kentuckian. It took us a WHOLE year for me to understand him! When he comes home, or is tired, he often slips back into mumbling and dropping his consonants.
Bottom Line
Don’t Panic.
Don’t Wait.
Educate.
If you suspect speech delay, start with a visit to the pediatrician to rule out the hardware: hearing problems. There are many programs for speech therapy, both private and through public schools/preschools, some of which are free or low cost.
Next, if/when your doctor recommends speech therapy, that is just another part of a process. Your work is not over. You will need to reinforce those skills at home. Make sure to work closely with the therapist to make it easier for the kiddo. Also keep in mind that you can request a different therapist or method if you do not see improvement over time.
Start early to help your kiddo avoid future bad habits to break.